New Orleans Baby Cakes GM Cookie Rojas introduces the "determined baby."
Season ticket holders, sponsors and costumed members of the Pussyfooters, Disco Amigos and El Lucha Krewe gathered at a rowdy press conference-slash-cocktail party Tuesday to hear which of seven cringeworthy crowdsourced options
the New Orleans Zephyrs would choose for its new name.
Weighing the options, including a rumored "final three" — the Tailgators, the Nite Owls, and the Baby Cakes — crowd members seemed convinced, or resigned, that Baby Cakes would win out.
"I think the votes for 'Baby Cakes' were a vote in revolt," sighed one woman, who declined to give her name because of her financial interest in the team. "I'm guessing they're gonna call Zephyr Field 'the playpen,' or 'the crib', or something like that."
Other observers held out hope for a last-minute turnaround. Local comedian and sometimes-sports commentator Chris Trew suggested the Baby Cakes rumor might set the stage for a surprise reveal.
"I would be so impressed if they revealed 'Baby Cakes,' and it was this really awful logo, and the crowd just falls into this awkward silence," he said, proposing that Baby Cakes could be a coverup for an as-yet-undisclosed name.
Alas, the team's sense of humor about itself was greater than any of us could have imagined. For its 25th season in 2017, the minor-league baseball team
will take the field as the New Orleans Baby Cakes. Uniforms will feature Mardi Gras-themed colors and a "determined baby" emerging from, or perhaps trapped in, a king cake.
Senior VP and GM Cookie Rojas took the stage to give remarks on the name, though much (is a king cake really a "baby cake"? why was the "New Orleans King Cakes" option vetoed?) remained unexplained. He said the team wanted something that evoked family, fun and New Orleans' ability to turn everything into a tradition,
"Traditions ... all have to start somewhere," he said. "Even our beloved New Orleans Saints were once a new idea to the city."
The announcement, complete with a suspiciously disciplined "Let's go, Cakes!" chant from the audience, was accompanied by a fashion show of the new jerseys, which mix Zephyrs navy with gold, purple and green. Team mascots Boudreaux D. and Clotile Nutria will stick around, and Baby Cakes President Lou Schwechheimer spoke briefly to announce a program in which babies born in Louisiana in 2017 will receive a lifetime pass to the team's games, with a chance to receive a full scholarship to a Louisiana university.
"I'm happy to proclaim that 2017 is the year of the Baby Cake," he said. "In the words of someone we all know and love from baseball, holy cow."
Boudreaux and Clotile are here to stay; they'll just wear the Cakes jersey from now on.