by Red Cotton
If you ever wondered what Kelsey Grammers TV character Frasier would look like as a Southern, Sazerac-sipping, big business baller at a party MCd by Black drag queens preaching the gospel according to RuPaul - your wait for this remarkable dream to come true is over. May is the month of Ogden Museums Annual Sippin In Seersucker benefit, held this year in The Shops at Canal Place, for which some brilliant event planner had the creative courage to feature the raw X-rated talent of sissy rapper phenomena Katey Red and Big Freedia. Feast your eyes upon this wonder: St. Charles Avenue anem p-popping to bounce music classics such as Im a Punk Under Pressure (When We Finish Put My Money On The Dresser), Azz Everywhere! (Toot It UP!), and It Must Be the P*&^ssy Cause It Aint Your Face. Who woulda thought - mansion-dwellers are just like us! The mall-turned-Duck-Off on A.P. Tureaud was chocked full of daddys credit card wielding hot young blondes, Catholic high school students, civic leaders, somebodys mailman, and a few Adams and Reese-looking types dropping it like it's hot - or trying their best. At the 3:35 minute mark, Big Freedias milkshake brings the shadow government to the yard.
Now see... all that beefing in the council chambers during the last administration could have been avoided had we sent Big Freedia to City Hall. That whole dust-up between ex-Sanitation Director Veronica White and Councilwoman Ms Heyaaaad woulda been shut down on Day One. Believe. This.
Remember when Stacy threatened to fire Veronica who in turn told the councilwoman off, collected that stack of binders full of reports she never read and stormed out of the council chambers? That is exactly when we should have unleashed fantabulation times a million known as Big Freedia into the City Council meeting where she no doubt would have worn her Dynastys Alexis Carrington-style wide hat and dominatrix combat boots. She woulda stalked right up to Veronica, flinched at her, filed her nails as the paramedics carted the stroke patient away, then removed her wide brim, fluffed her tri-colored Rihanna bangs, looked directly into the Public Access Cable Channel camera and told the whole city of New Orleans: Miss Thing had it aaaaaall wrong. Miss Head is NOT the one - IM THE ONE!
Sissy rappers are the true civic power brokers of this city. Thats Real Talk.