Let's call today's post... "Have Yourself A Slutty Little Christmas." The fact that Santa sneaks into your house after hours hasn't been lost on centuries of cheap jokesters with a salacious bent (it's given us Clarence Carter's "Back Door Santa," for one, which is plenty gift in itself) and there are oh so many winks-and-a-nudge Christmas songs out there. Mae West got a little more specific with the one-liner she stamped on history with "Santa Come Up And See Me," for example. But the real grail out there, apparently, for Christmas music hounds is a saucy little LP by one Kay Martin - a '60s-era Vegas lounge singer with a risque turn of phrase - called "I Know What He Wants For Christmas - But I Don't Know How To Wrap It!" Long out of print, it's a downloader's favorite. It's got gems like "I Want A Casting Couch For Christmas" and "Hang Your Balls On The Christmas Tree," but my favorite? "Santa's Doing The Horizontal Twist."