(Is it pretentious to point out it should be 'Pretense Index'?)
So a company called Cafe Valet (which "has revolutionized the way coffee is offered and consumed in more than a million hotel rooms across North America") has done one of those pseudo-scientific surveys — this one a "quantitative analysis of pretension levels in America":
Developed by a team of data scientists, the Pretension Index examines where these modern day latte art lovers are most concentrated, mining data from a variety of sources including the U.S. Census Bureau, Facebook, local business data and more in the 50 most populous U.S. metro areas.
And New Orleans now makes the Top 10 — lower than San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Denver or Austin, but above Chicago and New York:
Among the criteria considered: "Indexed number of people interested in Moleskine notebooks by metro area" and "Indexed number of people interested in Sting by metro area."
Do you agree that we've become more pretentious as we've become more expensive? Have we traded our Schwegmann-shopping "slippers lady" heritage* for the verdant fields of kale at Whole Foods
? Have we swapped the simple pleasures of Bud's Broiler and Ted's Frostop for controversial lettuce-and-tomato-free designer burgers
? Is it time to stop putting -eaux
on the end of, you kneaux, damn near everything
* Schwegmann was a supermarket, unpretentious enough that "slipper ladies" would go there in housecoats and bedroom slippers. Some Schwegmanns used to have a bar inside. Ask Blake Pontchartrain about it.