Your regular Y@ Speak correspondent Lauren LaBorde will return for next week's edition. I've agreed to write this week's, so I apologize preemptively for ruining everything.

Over a rainy weekend, the city gave a music legend a true going home second line then ran with the bulls and celebrated Bastille Day, while Drew Brees celebrated all the money ever with a $5 sandwich and damn near caused instant traffic when he told the Internet to join him.

Meanwhile, as summer gets progressively more wet and gross, New Orleans battles cockroaches, weirdos, weirder weirdos, alligator theft — so, the usual.

Y@ Speak 7/9-7/15

Storified by Gambit · Mon, Jul 16 2012 09:20:23
Found out that @NOLAKevin of @The_Gambit used to be the Nell Nolan of Los Angeles.Todd A. Price
I like MY life drama free. I get all the drama I need from reality shows! LolBig Sam
I can't wait til David Simon gets on Twitter and shares some truly tasty morsels with us.skooks
Subject line of an email I just received from TMZ PR: "Sean Payton to Hot Blonde — I've Got a Bounty ... ON THAT ASS!"
I wish this Memory Foam mattress wouldn't just bring up thoughts about my dead dog.Andrew Polk
This woman is walking down N. Rampart with her two dogs and a live snake hanging on her neck. WTF?Aura Fedora
Theft of an alligator (over $500) is a felony in La. RS 14:67.13. I'll kiss Cannizzaro full on the mouth if they charge 'em with that.Jason Saul
There's a third-strike law for alligator theft in this state.Jason Saul
You're never wronger than when you think you "sent a message" to the roach community. #nolaGenerationals
Brees/Saints contract such a mess, Saints must have Times Picayune management handling negotiations.C.B. Forgotston
Drew Brees' $60 million guaranteed could buy roughly 11,428,571 Italian Night Clubs at Jimmy Johns, his favorite sandwich there.Ryan Smith
Drew Brees Signed a contract worth more than the Orleans Parish School Board budget. lol.Jason V. Holmes
I cried a little at the checkout counter at Whole Foods when I found out they had signed Brees. Not sure if it was joy or the bill. #WhoDatPatrick Mulhearn
Congrats @drewbrees and @Saints! Now let's get to work! #whodat #SuperBowlXLVII #nolaloveMitch Landrieu
Thinking about putting in an application for NOPD sketch artist. Vargas
Siberia is putting a hold on live entertainment pending permitting issues. We are still open for business. Please... NOLA
I'm day drinking in New Orleans. The woman next to me at this bar is at least eight months pregnant. This town is fucking insane.The Coquette
I'm so mad at @AETV cause #CajunJustice hijacked my vacy. Can't stop watching. People are cray cray in my home state. #Louisiana.Don Lemon
Yes the second line is still going on, rain, sleet, or snow. We dont stop no celebrationTreme Brass Band
Friday the 13th, at 13 on Frenchmen, Drew signed, it's not raining and Uncle Lionel is being blasted off into paradise with a killer score..Marc Paradis
“@JPLSU1: thanks for stopping by @The_Gambit in nola the other day. Next time you're here, shrimp po boys and abita beers on me.” - DEAL!Adam Richman
Oh I forgot to tell y'all That im going to the Jimmy Fallon show to do the hip raps next week.... Hope there's a green roomSpitta
#SFNO2012 is rolling! RUN PEOPLE! RUN!
#NOLA Running of the Bulls Satchfield
Thanks to everyone for a warm, loving final day at the TP. I am proud to have been a part of a great team of journalists.David Hammer
Just because you own the photo of UncleLionel in a public place during a second line doesn't give your the moral right to cash in.Wendell Pierce
Typical New Orleans, a zero sum world where your success is at the expense of others. People pimping Unc never even been to Treme or 2ndLineWendell Pierce
Just made it official. Contract is signed! #NOLALOVE Brees
Who wants to join me for a celebratory #9 at Jimmy Johns at 4301Veterans Blvd? See you thereDrew Brees
if you ever feel lonely, try to read a book in a bar. Everyone in the damn place will try to start a conversation with you.Andrew Healan

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