Even more flavored vodkas to delight and/or disturb your palate


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Carnival season's big hoo-ha over king cake-flavored vodka may have receded (though "Due to the demand King Cake Vodka will now be available all year round for your enjoyment!"), but the passion for flavored vodkas has not ... as this article in the San Antonio Current demonstrates. Reporter Brandon R. Reynolds destroys his palate so you don't have to:

Three Olives Vodka, one of the first to launch the "sport-flavoring" craze, perhaps best represents this explosion. There are the weird B-team fruits "Watermelon," "Mango," and "Pomegranate." There are the ones for fifth-grade happy hour: "Root Beer," "Bubble" and "Cake." Then there are wild cards: "Rangtang," "Purple" (not to be confused with grape) and, most disturbingly, a flavor called simply "Dude."

Three Olives parent French White Rock Distillers launched a brand entirely dedicated to recreational tongue abuse in 2009: Pinnacle Vodka, with its 34 flavors, offers "Atomic Hots," "Butterscotch," "Cookie Dough," and "Gummy." Absolut, the veteran of the flavored scene, has attempted to maintain its dignity by offering highbrow concoctions: "Ruby Red," "Orient Apple," "Berry Acai." And Smirnoff, whose website has apparently given itself over entirely to depicting raves, has "Fluffed Marshmallow," "Whipped Cream," and "Master of the Mix," which tastes like DJ-ing.

And somehow I don't see myself sidling up to a bar on a hot day and saying "Fluffed Marshmallow and grapefruit with a lime, please."

* If you somehow missed the king cake-flavored vodka craze: go here, here and here.


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