Nu Wave of Mutilation



By purchasing an analog-to-digital converter box, I assumed I’d be freed from the shackles of a snowy-fuzz pair of bunny-eared antenna. Instead, though I have a little-more-than-limited cable, the picture comes through like a blurry YouTube video on dial-up.


But every once in a while, I come across basic-cable infomercial gems like this:


I’m not sure what kind of cancer this thing is capable of producing, but I’m sure millions among the Thanksgiving-panicked masses are at least tempted by a two-hour turkey.


I just hope my Louisiana neighbors stick to what they know best — turkey fryers. I’m not sure if I’d want infrared lasers anywhere near my more than likely lead-contaminated New Orleans apartment. 


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