Clash of Titans Cancelled

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In a stunning announcement today, the long anticipated caged death match between the mighty Reverend John “The Hurricane Avenger” Hagee and William Donohue, president of the Catholic League has been cancelled. Hagee, who has long been a thorn in Donohue’s crown for years and has described Donohue’s wrestling syndicate as the “great whore,” has apologized for his past remarks. Donohue, reached by phone at his secluded, training camp, headquartered in a small country located in Rome, Italy, said he was satisfied with Hagee’s mea culpa.

Wrestling fans aren’t satisfied, however. One fan, Marc Eagle, clearly expressed his outrage as he attempted to return his tickets for an event that had been billed as bigger than Hulk Hogan versus Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

“Dude, I bought those tickets for me and my son, Goldberg,” Eagle said. “What am I going to tell him? The boy’s a Hagee-A-Maniac.”

John McCain, a representative for the World Wide Wrestling Religions Association, said he was relieved by Hagee’s apology.

“Wow, is all I can say,” McCain responded. “This was like Batman fighting Robin or something. I’m so glad this is over. Now these guys can get back to doing what they do best: bashing gays.”

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