If I Were A Richman



“New Orleans must be rebuilt, and I say the levees should be armored with [Alan] Richman's skull as a start.” — Ashley Morris to GQ, Nov. 3, 2006

“Rot in hell, f**kmook, and do it soon.” — Morris to Richman, Nov. 2, 2006

I didn’t know Ashley Morris personally, but as it would be with many people I don't know but whose writing I enjoy, I was sad to hear he had passed. The news immediately made me think of my closest encounter with Morris, which came during the Chernobylesque fallout from GQ food critic/miserable misanthrope Alan Richman’s laughably bitter drive-by on New Orleans’ cuisine and culture in late 2006. Morris and I shared, via a few spirited messages, our mutual disgust over Richman's asinine axe job. Of all the local rebukes, Brett Anderson’s was the most eloquent, Richard Peyton’s the most incendiary, and mine, well, let’s just say I succeeded in getting under the old codger’s shriveled skin. But Morris’ series of blog posts on the subject were undoubtedly the foulest — and the funniest. I link to them here out of equal amounts of contempt for Richman and consideration for Ashley. I didn’t know him personally, but something tells me he would’ve appreciated it.

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