Listen, a few of us have been talking, and we all agree that its time you moved back to Louisiana. What on earth are you still doing out in L.A., girl? Clearly they dont get you. All those things the press is always getting on you about, like cruising around with little kids on your lap, going into gas stations barefoot, jetting off to Vegas for shotgun weddings or occasionally forgetting to put on your panties? We aint even worried about all that. So you needed a carton of Camel Lights and you left your kicks at home. Whats the problem?
Paparazzi might as well be a plate of pasta at Moscas, for all we care. Just look at Brad and Angelina are you really trying to tell me they put Maddox in a car seat every time they head to Rouses for a sixer of Abita? But do you ever see them in the tabloids? No. (I mean, without that pretty girl from Friends, of course.) Those two even live in the French Quarter, where there are tourists everywhere! And do you know who tourists are? Theyre the same people who buy tabloids, baby.
You just tell Jamie Lynn that we wont even judge her if she and her 18-year-old boyfriend want to have their little baby boy or girl in New Orleans. And bring that cutie Kevin on down, too, yheard? PopoZão, right? Sure, it aint much now, but throw a bounce beat behind it and get Lil Wayne on a verse, maybe hed have something.