by Kevin Allman
He was super nice. But he can’t not be noticed. Like every third person that came on the plane, he would be like, “Oh and you’re just a magnificent little so-and-so” and “you’re just a big lumberjack who loves his mother.” And then I fell asleep during the flight and I woke up and he was like, “Were you dreaming? What kind of dreams were you having?” He was right in my ear. I’m like, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I’ve never flown first class. I’ve never been to New Orleans and now I got Richard Simmons in my ear, you know asking me about my dreams and trying to give me some psych read or something.Read the whole thing.