Suspected French Quarter felon apprehended!

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This just in: The New Orleans Police Department is reporting the arrest of an alleged felon in the French Quarter. Below is a picture of suspected arch-criminal Anthony Chapman's alleged felony, for which he could spend up to two years in prison.

The above felony reads Natural Hair 4 the Brown Skin
  • The above felony reads "Natural Hair 4 the Brown Skin"

From the press release:

On Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 12:00pm, Officer Moses was on patrol when she observed an unknown black male drawing on the side of 1039 Decatur with a permanent marker. The suspect, Anthony Chapman, B/M, 6-12-79, was apprehended and booked under the new graffiti ordinance, LA RS 14:56.5 Criminal Damage to a Historic Building or Landmark. Additional information on this arrest and / or subsequent prosecution can be obtained from www.opsco.org.

Let this be a lesson. We do not tolerate felonious graffiti in Louisiana. If you must commit a crime, you're better off staying home and beating your spouse up to two times (number 3 bumps it up to a felony) or your pregnant spouse once. (Upon closer inspection of the law, I see that pregnant battery number two is in fact a misdemeanor, albeit a misdemeanor that carries a one-year minimum sentence. I apologize for this error.)

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