"Nicolas Cage awoken by naked man with Fudgsicle"

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New Orleans sometime-resident Nicolas Cage makes for the best headlines. We all remember his April scrap with NOPD (he was taken to Orleans Parish Prison and bailed out by Dog the Bounty Hunter) and his Mardi Gras caper in the French Quarter restaurant Stella!. Now it seems the Cage family once survived a home invasion involving "a naked man wearing my leather jacket" (which is an odd sort of naked, yes?) who was also eating a treat purloined from the Cage freezer:

A naked man, a leather jacket, a Fudgsicle.
  • A naked man, a leather jacket, a Fudgsicle.


Jeepers. What happened next?

"He was staring at me. I got up out of the bed. I put my jeans on and I chased him into the bathroom. I said, 'What are you doing in my house?' I decided somewhere to use verbal judo. I was very commanding with my voice and I got him to get out of my house. The cops came and they took him. It was scary."

Was Cage robbed, wondered [director Joel] Schumacher.

"He robbed my Fudgesicle. In any way, I didn't press charges because I felt that maybe, he was not quite right. My wife was terrified," said Cage.

Obviously this is so not Nicolas Cage's fault, and to suggest otherwise would be blaming the victim of domestic Fudgsicle terrorism — but this sort of thing never seems to happen to Colin Firth or Ryan Reynolds, does it?

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