Greatest Medical Report Ever

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Yes, I know it's the Onion. But still, tell me this isn't one of the funniest 40-second newscasts you've ever heard? Also, it's just a widely accurate depiction of how New Orleanians stay so happy, am I right? It's the Louisiana four-step: Booze! Free sex! Boobs! More Booze! What else is there to do down here anyway?

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