Tomorrrow: a plastic surgeon tells us we don't need plastic surgery

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Do you remember back in the day, before virtually every profession was represented on a televised competition, before "real" housewives bombarded us with their delusions, before the dawn of skank buses? In the grand history of television, it was around the time when shows like "Survivor" and "Big Brother" first came into existence, when "reality" television still somewhat resembled real life. But even though shows (like the aforementioned two) with loosely scripted premises were popping up, all you really had to do to keep people entertained was show plastic surgeries on television. Those were the good ol' days.

To give people what they wanted, E! created a series in 2004 that combined the rubberneck appeal of televised surgeries with America's fascination with dumb, rich people: "Dr. 90210," which featured many before-and-after photos and blurry breast augmentations, was born.

Have you wondered what the show's star plastic surgeon, Dr. Robert Rey, is up to these days? No? Well, naturally he's touring the country to tell us we don't actually need surgery to look good. Tomorrow from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., Dr. 90210 himself will make an appearance at Sears (4400 Veterans Memorial Blvd., Metairie) to divulge his secrets for enhancing your shape without surgery. Hint: it has something to do with his line of shape wear.

In case you don't know what shape wear is, it basically does for fat what those Pillsbury tubes do for pre-made biscuit dough. And also, according to the press release, it's the perfect accessory:

Whether interested in knowing how to hide that unwelcome “muffin top” for an upcoming romantic date or simply unsure of what to wear with your little black dress, Dr. Rey will be available to answer any and all styling questions… and he’s not keeping any secrets!

Let's hope that date doesn't get too romantic, or else that "muffin top" compressed under the tightest of tight spandex won't be so hidden anymore, now will it?

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