by Red Cotton
Above is a clip from a sissy rapper show I attended earlier this year. If youve never been to a sissy rap concert before, do yourself a favor and yell at your life coach to Get On It! Better yet, fire him or her and put a sissy rapper on your makeover team. In these dark days when everything seems so uncertain, there is no better tough times mentor to be had. Do you know how hard core you gotta be to be a transvestite from the projects of New Orleans who highjacks the rap game from the local thug life? Its that kind of fearless vision we need to overcome these BSA days were dealing with.
A sissy rapper embodies the strength of 10,000 chariots, the style of Halle Berrys brother Basement Berry - the one that gave her all the moves and taught her everything she knows, the sharp wit of Ariana Huffington if Arianna Huffington was as witty as Ariana Huffington THINKS she is (with her Ariana Says headlines, she really thinks shes who she is these days). Combine all that fabulous alchemical force, put it on stage and youve got a life altering, head rotating, fire-walking, phenomenation that EST, Master Cleansing and years of psychoanalysis cant touch. One show (plus two gin and tonics) will blast your mind open and you will experience a convergence of clear purpose, advanced motor booty skills and the raw uncensored courage you need to make all your dreams come true. You will know instinctively what to do about that errant man, the job search, the foreclosure notice AND Climate change. You could single-handedly throw Nagins azz outta office TODAY and lock down the public healthcare option your damn self. Once aligned with sissy rapper superhero power, haters will cease to darken your door. Case in point: sissy rap originated out of the Melpomene projects and you see, out of all the housing projects to suffer the wrecking ball, those buildings are still standing strong. Bulldozers dont even drive down that block. Coincidence? Hmph...I think not.
This is the team we all need to get on. Sissy Rappers For Mayor!
Big Freedia tha Queen Diva, Magnolia "Smokin' Guns" Shorty, and DJ Rusty Lazer
Thursday, October 29
10:00pm to 4:00am
The Dragon's Den