"...so numbed by dysfunction that they drop everything to march in drunken parades."

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NEWS FIGHT!

It seems the editorial board at The Town Talk in Alexandria was displeased by a recent Times-Pic editorial about Senate Bill 335, which addresses higher-education funding. Wrote the T-P:

The Legislature foolishly upgraded Louisiana State University at Alexandria to four-year status in 2001, even though there was already a public university in nearby Natchitoches. Now, higher education officials say they may revisit that decision.

Such talk piqued the proud Alexandrians at The Town Talk, who responded today in a hilarious editorial titled "Arrogant Interlopers Target LSUA":

Forget for a moment how such wisdom is shaped -- by people who brag about a town built on government handouts and perpetual corruption, who are comfortable with poverty and murder rates that dwarf the national averages, and who are so numbed by dysfunction that they drop everything to march in drunken parades.

Forget about the river of education funding washing through the Big Easy, a city so detached from learning that the state had to commandeer the local school system because of its chronic failure, and where 44 percent -- nearly half -- of the adults can't read well enough to fill out simple forms.

OK, we concede on the form-filling-outing thing; based on the comments on nola.com, the percentage may even be higher. And we certainly appreciate being told that 44 percent is "nearly half," as we're no better at math than we are at form-filling-outing.

But we'll let the T-P and the TT battle it out. Now 'scuse us. There's a drunken parade coming down Bienville, and we've got to drop everything to catch it.

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