by Kevin Allman
Some wicked wit is having fun with the very funny (and pseudonymous) parody blog The Secret Diary of Sidney Torres IV. A sample:
People worldwide rave about how clean SDT-WDS keeps the French Quarter. Everybody knows that the French Quarter has never been cleaner- Pre and Post Katrina. That's because I am a very detailed clean freak. You can tell just by looking at me. My clothes are perfectly pressed and fitted. My hair is meticulously coiffed. I have a fine eye for detail. If I meet with someone who has, say, a stain on their their tie, spinach in their teeth, or have their shirt tucked in without wearing a belt, I start visibly twitching and have to leave the room. I get seriously distressed. It's just in my chemistry and that's why the French Quarter is so clean.
Oh, just one more:
I'm still clearing my head after the big Kid Rock party-a-thon. Don't get me wrong; I love hanging with Bob, but I've got business to conduct and it's best done without a hangover. Al Copeland (God rest his soul and more about him later) was cool enough to set me up with a personal oxygen bar and it really helps when too much libation is the issue.
Over the months, "Sidney" has been discussing Bill Jefferson, Helena Moreno, Stacy Head, Kid Rock, Chris Rose, NPR, and former Gambit staffer Sarah Andert, and I've been missing all his penetrating, lemon-fresh insights. No more. You've been bookmarked, Faux Sidney.
*Hat tip to Adrastos for the tip-off.